How Bobby Won the World Cup

So we’re 94 days away from witnessing the 2010 World Cup games in South Africa. Currently, Nigeria is one of the African qualifying teams. Sudan, of course, came in last place in it’s group and, not being a country to surprise us, will once again not qualify for the world cup. All in all I think African has an ok chance of making it far this time around and let it be known that I’m officially endorsing Nigeria.

All of this has nothing to do with how Bobby won the world cup.

For some background: I have known Bobby for a long time. He is a beast of a man. And at the risk of inflating his ego, he has always been so. He’s one of those guys that you expect to have helped Ma out around the house by lifting the couch over his head so she might run the vacuum underneath more easily. Of course, at the age of three. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was doing pushups in the womb.

That’s Bobby.

Now, he recently sent me a video that was 23 seconds long. It looked like it was taken on a 1980′s video camera as the quality was low res and shaky. I could barely recognize the man facing the camera. (Whoever said the camera puts on 20 pounds was a liar and a thief.) Bobby looked like two arms acting as massive parenthesis to the rest of his body. In the first half of the video, Bobby trots around for a few seconds but then finally centers himself in the camera’s frame. In front of him is a bar. He bends down at the hip, reaches down, and grabs hold of it.

At this point, my eyes widened and (the first time I saw the video) I audibly said: “Holy Fu**in Sh**. No way”. And in the video, Bobby pauses for a few seconds with his hands steadying on the bar, and he has this smug look on his face like “yeah Sama, this ain’t photoshop”.

He strains for a second and then deadlifts five hundred and fifty-five freaking pounds.

Needless to say, I felt my own abdominal lining rip open as my intestines dropped into my testicular sack. Doctors would call it a hernia. I would just say it felt like one.

Bobby then dropped the 555 pound weight (this shook the gym slightly because I saw some people trip up in the background). A second later, he steps triumphantly over the bar and straight for the cameraman. Presumably to lift him up and toss him aside like a rag doll. On that day, Bobby was only 5 pounds away from deadlifting double his own body weight.

And that my friends, is how Bobby won the world cup.

In my book at least.

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